Our Boy...

I can't believe it's been 7 years since we lost our sweet Jackson. The last 7 years have flown by and I often dream about what life would be like with him here. I believe that Peyton has a special connection with his brother and I am so thankful of the reminder that Peyton brings as he often speaks of Jackson and how much he misses him. Even though they obviously never knew each other in this life, I think they share a special Heavenly bond that can't be explained.

Some moments are still hard. Some days are still hard. But to be honest, I am thankful for the times I am able to just take some quiet time to myself and remember what it was like to hold my sweet boy. All those nights spent just me and him rocking quietly, nursing, singing, sharing our time together. I will never forget those moments with my sweet baby, it's those memories that move me forward when times are toughest, because I long for more of them, for more time spent with my boy. I know we will see him again.

I recently came across this song by Jo Dee Messina (thanks to a dear friend). The lyrics express well how I have felt.

Listen to the song HERE

I came by today to see you
Oh I had to let you know
If I knew the last time that I held you was the last time
I'd have held you, and never let go

Oh, it's kept me awake nights, wondering
I lie in the dark, just asking why
I've always been told
You won't be called home
Until it's your time

I guess heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up
For what you believe
And follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is heaven was needing a hero
Like you

I remember the last time I saw you
Oh, you held your head up proud
I laughed inside
When I saw how you were standing out in the crowd
Your such a part of who I am
Now that part will just be void
No matter how much I need you now
Heaven needed you more

Cause heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up
For what you believe
And follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
Is heaven was needing a hero
Like you

Is Heaven was needing a hero
and that's you

One of my favorite picutures of Jackson, taken Dec. 9, 2003

In Our Hearts...

Every year on December 10 Dan's Mom puts a memoriam in the news paper. Her simple gesture means so much to us. I just wanted to post the one for this year as the poem she chose is absolutely perfect at describing my feelings.
IN MEMORIAM

Jackson Daniel Hoover
Aug. 24, 2003 – Dec. 10, 2003

In Our Hearts
We thought of you with love today
But that is nothing new.
We thought about you yesterday
And days before that too.
We think of you in silence.
We often speak your name.
Now all we have is memories
And your picture in a frame.
Your memory is our keepsake
With which we'll never part.
God has you in his keeping.
We have you in our heart..
Love, Mom, Dad, Peyton, Bailey and Meemaw

John Raleigh Bybee

Today we attended my Grandpa Bybee's funeral (my Dad's dad). He was one of the most amazing, loving men I knew. I always remember my Grandpa going and going, when I was young he stayed with us while he helped my Dad build our house in Cache Valley. Every morning my Grandpa would get up hours before the sun rose and walk around the neighborhood picking up garbage and any other treasures he could find. He was always so productive! I thought he was so smart because he could name every bone in my body as he pointed each one out to me, he was so fun.
About 10 or so years ago he suffered a stroke. It was so hard to see the physical limitations caused by his stroke. Since then his health has slowly declined but he and his wife continued to make an effort to rehabilitate his body. Last Saturday April 25 he suffered a heart attack. His health quickly declined as he was also suffering from an infection in his blood, failing kidneys and prostate cancer that had spread throughout his body. He passed away Thursday (at the age of 84, one day before his and Grandma's 63 wedding anniversary) evening around 6:30pm in the comfort of his home surrounded by his wife and children. I will miss grandpa so much but I am so happy that he is no longer captive to his mortal body. He will be a great missionary in the Spirit World!
Over Spring Break Dan, the kids and I went to visit Grandpa and Grandma in Salt Lake. It was really nice to catch up with them since we hadn't seen them for a while. We were able to get a few great pictures of the kids with Grandpa! I am so thankful that we went for the visit and will always cherish that time.

John Raleigh Bybee 1924 - 2009

John Raleigh Bybee, beloved husband, father, brother and grandfather, passed away at age 84 on April 30, at home from natural causes.
John was born September 10th, 1924, in Trenton, Utah, to Frank Arthur and Eva Campbell Bybee. He married the love of his life, his "Star", Elner VaLois Roderick on May 1, 1946, in the Salt Lake Temple.
John served in the Armed Forces as a medic during WWII and was an officer in the Army Air Corps. He earned five medals for his service. He was a devoted member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and served faithfully in many callings his entire life, including two missions. He loved working with his hands and was a perfectionist in his creations and repairs. His greatest love was teaching, both in and out of the church, working as a Seminary Teacher and a High School Science teacher. A life-long leaner, he earned a PhD degree from Ohio State University in Science Education. John also loved the out­-of-doors, fishing and hunting and spent many happy hours with family and friends in the mountains.
He is survived by his wife, VaLois, his sister, Amy Hymas (Leo), brothers, Walter (Alice), Eugene (Marge, deceased), Larry (Connie), Children: Stephen (Caroll), Charlene Wall (Robin), daughter-in-law Lisa (Mark, deceased, wife Monica, deceased), Michael (Karen), MaryAnn Clausen (Tom), Jack (Terry), daughter-in-law Merrilynn (Delvan, deceased), and 39 grandchildren and 55 great-grandchildren.
The family would like to thank the Doctors, nurses and aids at Alta View Hospital and Sunbrook Hospice Services for their tender care of John during his brief illness preceding his death.
Funeral services will be held Monday, May 4, 2009, 11:00 a.m. at the Butler West Stake Center, 1845 East 7200 South. Friends may call at the Cannon Mortuary, 2460 E. Bengal Blvd. (7600 S.) Sunday, May 3, 2009 from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. at the day of the service at the church from 9:30 a.m. to 10:45 a.m. Interment Logan City Cemetery, Logan, Utah. Online condolences may be left at www.cannonmortuary.com.

Mark A. Bybee

September 28, 1951- February 20, 2004

My dad was one of the most amazing people I have ever known. He was always so upbeat and loved to talk to others. He was an amazing teacher and touched the lives of many throughout his life! I dream of what a fun grandpa my Dad would have been to my children, often I am angry because what he did was so selfish, and my children and many others have been cheated! It breaks my heart to think of what he must have been feeling to think that suicide was the only solution to his problems. I am so thankful to know that our Heavenly Father is loving and that only he is the judge. I know that he couldn't have been in his right mind to do such a thing. I am so thankful that I have many happy memories of my Dad, he was always so supportive of me and showed me how much he cared. One of my happiest memories of my Dad was my wedding day, he was so happy and I'll never forget his face that whole day, he was beaming. He loved Dan so much and couldn't have picked a better spouse for me himself. I miss him so much and I miss what might have been.

I love you Dad, life is not the same without you!